I saw a old guy riding his bike down Gulf Beach Highway with a case of beer strapped to the back.
I wonder if riding your bike to get beer cancels out the calories from the beer when you drink it?
Or he was just homeless with a bike.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Where da gold at?
Apparently there is a Leprechaun in Alabama.
Watch this You Tube video and then check out the website.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vi35H9H4Og
www.wheredagoldat.com
Leprechauns are easy. Those Mobileians better stay on that side of the bay.
I have heard that here in West P'cola, Perdido and Lower Alabama we have had some sightings too. There is a team of researchers looking for a Bigfoot/Sasquatch in the Lower Alabama woods. Dead Cattle with their neck broken is the first sign. I don't think that Leroy's Magic Flute will scare him.
Someone has seen Polyphemus, the one eyed Cyclops from the Odyssey, sleeping on the barrier island. They threw some buoys at him and he ran away.
A Krackken has been spotted off the coast by a boat load of Cubans.
The Loch Ness Monster was spotted trying to tip a Dolphin sight seeing ship. The tourists threw some Twizzlers overboard and he disappeared.
A group of Nasty Mermaids were spotted near the Flora-Bama. They were looking for some weed. A bunch of Mississippi Rednecks waded out to hit on them, but the mermaids swam out to sea.
So, those Leprecrackheads need to stay in Mobile. They don't want any part of the water monsters here.
Watch this You Tube video and then check out the website.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vi35H9H4Og
www.wheredagoldat.com
Leprechauns are easy. Those Mobileians better stay on that side of the bay.
I have heard that here in West P'cola, Perdido and Lower Alabama we have had some sightings too. There is a team of researchers looking for a Bigfoot/Sasquatch in the Lower Alabama woods. Dead Cattle with their neck broken is the first sign. I don't think that Leroy's Magic Flute will scare him.
Someone has seen Polyphemus, the one eyed Cyclops from the Odyssey, sleeping on the barrier island. They threw some buoys at him and he ran away.
A Krackken has been spotted off the coast by a boat load of Cubans.
The Loch Ness Monster was spotted trying to tip a Dolphin sight seeing ship. The tourists threw some Twizzlers overboard and he disappeared.
A group of Nasty Mermaids were spotted near the Flora-Bama. They were looking for some weed. A bunch of Mississippi Rednecks waded out to hit on them, but the mermaids swam out to sea.
So, those Leprecrackheads need to stay in Mobile. They don't want any part of the water monsters here.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Women's Underwear
I was listening to Fox News on XM Radio one evening in the car and heard where some Wal Mart corporate employees were in trouble.
They called it Corporate Shenanigans. I love those words put together. Just makes you think that something truly stupid is about to happen.
It did.
Wal Mart contracted a video company to video their corporate retreats. For years this was handled with a handshake deal from Old Man Sam Walton. Well, when the video company was not re-hired they sold all their video from the events. Handshake deal = no confidentiality agreement.
One of the videos had corporate executives dancing around in lingerie singing the old Christmas song "Winter Wonderland". BUT, they changed the words to Walking 'round in women's underwear.
I guess the legal minds at Wal Mart and now working on contracts for all former employees and video companies!
They called it Corporate Shenanigans. I love those words put together. Just makes you think that something truly stupid is about to happen.
It did.
Wal Mart contracted a video company to video their corporate retreats. For years this was handled with a handshake deal from Old Man Sam Walton. Well, when the video company was not re-hired they sold all their video from the events. Handshake deal = no confidentiality agreement.
One of the videos had corporate executives dancing around in lingerie singing the old Christmas song "Winter Wonderland". BUT, they changed the words to Walking 'round in women's underwear.
I guess the legal minds at Wal Mart and now working on contracts for all former employees and video companies!
Oh, Lord, won't you buy me.....
With all the television coverage of the Pope's visit, I couldn't help but see the Pope's car.
I call it the Popecedees Benz. I wonder if it has a "GOD IS MY CO-PILOT" bumper sticker and a plastic Jesus on the dashboard?
I call it the Popecedees Benz. I wonder if it has a "GOD IS MY CO-PILOT" bumper sticker and a plastic Jesus on the dashboard?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
God Bless Louisiana
THANGS I LARNED WILE LIVIN IN LUSIANA
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in LOUISIANA.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in LOUISIANA plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Once d and twiced are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. Fixinto is one word
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
3. You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store '
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
8. You only own five spices: Tony's (Chachere?), salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm'.
12. You know all four seasons: Deer Season, Duck Season, Crawfish Season, Summer.
13. You know whether another LOUISIANIAN is from, north or south as soon as they start talking (speaking).
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as ?goin' Wal-martin?or ?off to Wally World?
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
Not EVERYONE can be a LOUISIANIAN, it's an art form and a gift from God
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in LOUISIANA.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in LOUISIANA plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Once d and twiced are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. Fixinto is one word
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
3. You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store '
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
8. You only own five spices: Tony's (Chachere?), salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm'.
12. You know all four seasons: Deer Season, Duck Season, Crawfish Season, Summer.
13. You know whether another LOUISIANIAN is from, north or south as soon as they start talking (speaking).
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as ?goin' Wal-martin?or ?off to Wally World?
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
Not EVERYONE can be a LOUISIANIAN, it's an art form and a gift from God
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Wanted - Gay Boyfriend
Thirtysomething married white female; mother of three girls, wife of a General Surgeon looking for a gay boyfriend.
Companion needed to share long walks through World Bazzar, Furniture stores and outdoor garden centers.
Must accompany me to Gulf Coast Casinos Shows and other concerts such as Elton John, George Michael, Pat Benatar, Liza Minelli, Kathy Griffin and the traveling production of Cats. Future trips to NYC in the works. Some Travel Expenses paid.
Experience with draperies, color coordinating rugs and flower design a must. Craft experience also a plus, but not necessary.
Theater experience welcomed. Three Darling Daughters need proper coaching on stage and singing techniques.
Cross Dressers and Fierce Trannys always welcome.
Companion needed to share long walks through World Bazzar, Furniture stores and outdoor garden centers.
Must accompany me to Gulf Coast Casinos Shows and other concerts such as Elton John, George Michael, Pat Benatar, Liza Minelli, Kathy Griffin and the traveling production of Cats. Future trips to NYC in the works. Some Travel Expenses paid.
Experience with draperies, color coordinating rugs and flower design a must. Craft experience also a plus, but not necessary.
Theater experience welcomed. Three Darling Daughters need proper coaching on stage and singing techniques.
Cross Dressers and Fierce Trannys always welcome.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Need to get the Tax Monkey off yo back?
In the event you are in the 318 area code, check out this tax service.
They get yo money quick... just like dat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MorxiSQpXCg
They get yo money quick... just like dat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MorxiSQpXCg
Monday, April 7, 2008
Qa'a Sha... what?
I got this email from one of my crazy friends. THANK YOU!
I am sharing this with you all.
This is NOT a real story. IT IS SATIRE. ON THE ORIGINAL WEBSITE 267 PEOPLE MADE COMMENTS AND 90% OF THEM WERE MAD BECAUSE OF THIS "RULING".
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
© 2008 The Peoples News
Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names
March 2, 2008
By Bill Matthews
After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.
(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.
“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”
The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.
“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed.
They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”
Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.
“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.
Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.
“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.
His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.
“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”
The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.
“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”
The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.
“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”
Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
© 2008 The Peoples News
I am sharing this with you all.
This is NOT a real story. IT IS SATIRE. ON THE ORIGINAL WEBSITE 267 PEOPLE MADE COMMENTS AND 90% OF THEM WERE MAD BECAUSE OF THIS "RULING".
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
© 2008 The Peoples News
Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names
March 2, 2008
By Bill Matthews
After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.
(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.
“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”
The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.
“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed.
They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”
Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.
“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.
Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.
“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.
His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.
“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”
The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.
“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”
The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.
“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”
Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
© 2008 The Peoples News
Thursday, April 3, 2008
FAITH!!!
George Michael this summer. July 13th. Dallas.
I've got to go-go!
Anybody want to go with me!
I've got to go-go!
Anybody want to go with me!
Rockin' the Orange Jumpsuit
Have you see the video of Filipino Prisoners dancing; 1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines. I don't mean gay prison dancing. I mean choreographed dances. I guess if you were in a Filipino prison and they said dance or die, you would dance.
They have even separated the dances into groups and the better dancers are "featured" in the center.
I don't know if my favorite is Soulja Boy/Hammer, Thriller, Gloria or Sister Act.
BUT, I'm lovin' the tranny from Thriller and the Cross Dressing Nun.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Filipino Solid Gold Dancers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYp2Aloz-uE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5nZcFIf3qc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPg9GWBoL0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-FhczpCZ84
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCUbUOZbs6g
They have even separated the dances into groups and the better dancers are "featured" in the center.
I don't know if my favorite is Soulja Boy/Hammer, Thriller, Gloria or Sister Act.
BUT, I'm lovin' the tranny from Thriller and the Cross Dressing Nun.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Filipino Solid Gold Dancers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYp2Aloz-uE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5nZcFIf3qc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPg9GWBoL0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-FhczpCZ84
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCUbUOZbs6g
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Paint
OK, the next time I decide to paint rooms in my house, someone beat me with a stick. I had painters come and paint the walls in the living room, dining room, foyer and kitchen. All the same color. It looks great. I decided I could paint the hallway. It has 6 doors to paint around. I hate painting. NOW that I have painted the hallway, the bathrooms need work. SO.....
I have removed the border from the hall bathroom and I am waiting for a new shower curtain. Black and white toile shower curtain. Since the other rooms look great, I now have to paint the bedroom of Petite Picasso. Soothing Celadon is what I am leaning toward. SO.....
I am off to Home Depot again. More blue tape, roller with an extension stick. Where is the drive through drink store!
I have removed the border from the hall bathroom and I am waiting for a new shower curtain. Black and white toile shower curtain. Since the other rooms look great, I now have to paint the bedroom of Petite Picasso. Soothing Celadon is what I am leaning toward. SO.....
I am off to Home Depot again. More blue tape, roller with an extension stick. Where is the drive through drink store!
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