If you follow LSU football you have heard that Ryan Perrilloux was dismissed from the team for... well you can fill in the blank for this one. I could be any number of things.
He was recently interviewed and said that he is suffering from OCD.
Really? OCD?
Sounds more like a COS, Crock Of Shit to me. He could have a bad case of SFB, Shit For Brains.
Maybe he could be suffering from IBS? Gas can make you do some pretty crazy things.
I thought that people with OCD would check the stove 20 times to make sure it was off. Didn't anyone see those crazy people on MTV's True Life I live with OCD? Am I the only one up with sick kids at 1 a.m.?
How f$cking stupid does he think we really are? Hey Rock Star, we DID attend class in college (without a scholarship) and call BS on that one.
I give him until Mid October he will have a serious attack of DAS, Dumb Ass Syndrome and be back at his mama's house.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Patsy, where are you when we need you?
It's dance recital time. Yep, that fun time of year when you go to numerous dress rehearsals. Buy extra pairs of tights in the special pima pink color because during one of the many rehearsals, sweet potato pie is going to trip on the stage stairs and rip a HUGE hole in the knee.
It's the time to stock up on 99 cent Eckerds hair gel and hair pins. We burn three gallons of gas and search all the drug stores for the "true red" color the dance instructors require. Only to be pissed off when my ballerina shows up with "true red" lips and third dancer from the right is standing there in streetwalker Ho Red..
I spend an hour on each daughter gelling and twisting their hair into the perfect bun. I apply just enough foundation make up to hold the soft pink cheek color. NOTE TO SELF - if you apply creme rouge to the cheeks with no foundation, the pink will stay there FOREVER!
I struggle to apply eyeliner and mascara. I beg them to not blink and then, yep, they blink and we start over with a q-tip and Mary Kay eye make up remover.
It's a total pain in the ass, but I can totally see why Pasty Ramsey would dress up little Jon Benet in baby formals and true red lips. I bet she had some secrets about applying mascara to a 5 year old.
I do have to say that it is fun watching the girls get so excited about dressing up in their costumes, applying the stage make up and stepping into the spotlight.
They LOVE it, so, I grab my "performance make up kit", run to the theater, take lots of photos and make a note in my Black Jack to buy two tubes of true red next time.
It's the time to stock up on 99 cent Eckerds hair gel and hair pins. We burn three gallons of gas and search all the drug stores for the "true red" color the dance instructors require. Only to be pissed off when my ballerina shows up with "true red" lips and third dancer from the right is standing there in streetwalker Ho Red..
I spend an hour on each daughter gelling and twisting their hair into the perfect bun. I apply just enough foundation make up to hold the soft pink cheek color. NOTE TO SELF - if you apply creme rouge to the cheeks with no foundation, the pink will stay there FOREVER!
I struggle to apply eyeliner and mascara. I beg them to not blink and then, yep, they blink and we start over with a q-tip and Mary Kay eye make up remover.
It's a total pain in the ass, but I can totally see why Pasty Ramsey would dress up little Jon Benet in baby formals and true red lips. I bet she had some secrets about applying mascara to a 5 year old.
I do have to say that it is fun watching the girls get so excited about dressing up in their costumes, applying the stage make up and stepping into the spotlight.
They LOVE it, so, I grab my "performance make up kit", run to the theater, take lots of photos and make a note in my Black Jack to buy two tubes of true red next time.
Not Crazy.
Ok, just when I thought the human race had lost their sense of humor I find this....
I was driving home in traffic two weeks ago. All the news that week had been about Clinton/Obama. Crazy Fundamentalist Mormons. Gas Prices that will make you cry. Your basic up beat feel good news story.
It had been a long week. It was 5:30. We were all tired and cranky. The girls were hungry. Sitting at the red light for another cycle I was trying to figure out what to cook. Realizing everything was frozen when I looked up at the SUV in front of me.
It was a large white late model Ford Bronco. The Alabama plates said "NOT OJ".
I laughed all the way home. Thank GOD for Alabamans with a sense of humor.
I was driving home in traffic two weeks ago. All the news that week had been about Clinton/Obama. Crazy Fundamentalist Mormons. Gas Prices that will make you cry. Your basic up beat feel good news story.
It had been a long week. It was 5:30. We were all tired and cranky. The girls were hungry. Sitting at the red light for another cycle I was trying to figure out what to cook. Realizing everything was frozen when I looked up at the SUV in front of me.
It was a large white late model Ford Bronco. The Alabama plates said "NOT OJ".
I laughed all the way home. Thank GOD for Alabamans with a sense of humor.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Who am I?
I have been having a small identity crisis. Not a big one. Just an almost forty, going to be moving again, husband probably going to be deployed, wondering when we will ever be in one town for more than three years crisis.
I bought the Maria Shriver book and have decided to take her advice. It's not what you do, but the person you are while you are doing it. Well, I am trying. I just keep repeating that to myself. Maybe I need to put it on a plaque. Paging Graffiti Chic......
SO, I get home and find my Mother's Day Gifts from school.
If you ever have a question about who you are, ask your seven year old.
Last week we were to send in a photo of ourselves to the first grade class. They were working on a Mother's Day project to display in the hallway.
On the table when I walked in I found a poster that said,
"I talk loud.
I love diet coke.
I ride my bike alot.
I have three kids.
Who am I?"
Inside was the photo of me.
I will take that description.... It could have been
"I forgot to bring snacks after school before dancing.
I embarrass my daughter by dancing to the music in department stores.
I never take my kids to the Perdido Kids Park.
I keep the extra beer in the fridge in the garage.
Who am I?"
I bought the Maria Shriver book and have decided to take her advice. It's not what you do, but the person you are while you are doing it. Well, I am trying. I just keep repeating that to myself. Maybe I need to put it on a plaque. Paging Graffiti Chic......
SO, I get home and find my Mother's Day Gifts from school.
If you ever have a question about who you are, ask your seven year old.
Last week we were to send in a photo of ourselves to the first grade class. They were working on a Mother's Day project to display in the hallway.
On the table when I walked in I found a poster that said,
"I talk loud.
I love diet coke.
I ride my bike alot.
I have three kids.
Who am I?"
Inside was the photo of me.
I will take that description.... It could have been
"I forgot to bring snacks after school before dancing.
I embarrass my daughter by dancing to the music in department stores.
I never take my kids to the Perdido Kids Park.
I keep the extra beer in the fridge in the garage.
Who am I?"
Happy Mother's Day
I have a sick kid. I am not complaining. I spent the past 4 days at Hilton Head and touring Savannah. I can handle a little vomit.
I did get to eat lunch at Paula Deen's restaurant. No she wasn't there. I walked up and asked for a reservation for one and they seated me at the bar. Other's who had a party of 4 had to wait until 2:45 that afternoon. It was 11:15. I got lucky. It was great. Sat next to an old couple from West Palm Beach on their way back to New Jersey. On the other side of me was a couple and their daughter. She looked like she was about 9 or 10 and kept taking photos of her plate of food. Tourists!
I made my way back to the elevator. On the way down I asked the other people where they were from. Can you believe they were from Zwolle! I Swear. Hand to God. I go to Savannah. Eat lunch at The Lady and Sons and get caught on the elevator with a bunch of old people from Zwolle. Go Figure!?
I did get to eat lunch at Paula Deen's restaurant. No she wasn't there. I walked up and asked for a reservation for one and they seated me at the bar. Other's who had a party of 4 had to wait until 2:45 that afternoon. It was 11:15. I got lucky. It was great. Sat next to an old couple from West Palm Beach on their way back to New Jersey. On the other side of me was a couple and their daughter. She looked like she was about 9 or 10 and kept taking photos of her plate of food. Tourists!
I made my way back to the elevator. On the way down I asked the other people where they were from. Can you believe they were from Zwolle! I Swear. Hand to God. I go to Savannah. Eat lunch at The Lady and Sons and get caught on the elevator with a bunch of old people from Zwolle. Go Figure!?
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