Pack up that tamale stand and hit the road!

I can't believe what some people say. It just makes me angry, MUCHO Angry!

Apparently a factory in Mississippi was raided and 600 (that's six hundred) people were detained to check their legal status in this country. Now, the corporate offices were raided too. GOOD! The suits who knowingly hired these people should be prosecuted too.....

BUT


The best part of the story was the list of comments from the "workers". One said "we are being treated like criminals".

HEY ROBERTO! ILLEGAL-O. + WORKER-O. = JAIL-O. COMPRENDO!?

They were complaining about the pregnant wives of these detained workers. Families torn apart.

Yeah, spare me. In this day and age if you are illegal, be prepared to board the bus and haul your shit back to Mexico.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I love a good tamale. I understand that this country is a HUGE melting pot of cultures. I believe that everyone deserves a chance for a better life, but if I have to live by the letter of the law, you should too, Roberto.

Neutralization

My 10 year old came home from school today and told me about her field trip next month. She said they are going to the Courthouse to watch some people become citizens and be "neutralized".

Sometimes you do need to listen to the words carefully!

Hey, Baby, Where's the Kevlar?

Sometimes I forget just how different my life is from everyone else.

I put my big girl panties on just like everyone else, but when your spouse is in the military, things are just a little different.

It's was Monday morning. 7:20 a.m. I have the three girls dressed, lunches made, bags packed, teeth brushed, shoes tied and hearding them toward the car when I hear this statement:

"Hey, have you seen my Geneva Convention Card and my pocketknife?"

I just looked at my husband and said "What?".

He repeated the question.

My reply:

"Are you being dropped behind enemy lines today? If not, I can find it later."

Yep, just the regular conversations couples have in the morning.

Where is Jim Cantore?

Just got back from the store buying storm supplies.

Tropical Storm Fay can't seem to find a path. I kind of feel sorry for the hurricane trackers. The projected path looks like a Spirograph drawing. Lots of loops and loops and loops.

I turned on to the weather channel today and there were 3 guys and one girl sitting around talking about the "worst storm they have been in". When Jim Cantore and three other weather nerds are not even on a beach watching the storm, it's no big deal.

SO...

I made my last Winn Dixie run of the day. I came home with three types of beer, Copenhagen snuff for the man of the house, candy for the kids and an US magazine, The Enquirer and The Examiner!

I'm ready for that Bitch Fay to show up!

Hup side out

I had a crazy moment this morning. I got up, got kids fed. Everyone was dressed, lunches made, folders signed, diapers changed, lights out, strapped into the car, on the way to school. It took me about 10 minutes to realize my shirt was on inside out. It wasn't a t-shirt. It was a short sleeved polo knit.

I realized it about the same time that Lucy and Ethel sitting in the way back seat noticed it. Then la petite in the middle seat started yelling, "hup side out".

So, that's my Thursday morning.

Oh, the hurricane in the atlantic, is going to turn back over Florida and into the gulf and back into the panhandle of Florida.

SO, have a great weekend. It's apparently going to be raining here.

Pulling the Jesus Card

I LOVE the new carpool rules at the school. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them! Of course, I complained all last year about the lack of rules and enforcement. We received a letter at home outlining the new rules. They are great and are there to keep our children safe.

I couldn't quite understand the moms who parked illegally, jaywalked across the street, in front of traffic and between cars in the carpool line to pick up their kids. Then they turn around with their child, walk between cars in the carpool line, cross the street in traffic and get in their illegally parked cars.

You know, we all pay the same tuition. I don't remember seeing the "Tuition plus VIP" area of the admissions statement. You know that VIP section that allows you to do whatever you want because you "pay tuition".

Apparently there was an issue on Tuesday, the first day of school. Now, who in their right mind expects the carpool line to flow perfectly the first day of school? OK, now, add the new carpool rules AND new parents to the school. You are looking at a 30min carpool wait, at the very least.

Wednesday we received a note home from school. It AGAIN outlined the rules and made some changes.

My favorite sentence in the entire letter reads like this:

For the safety of all, please allow the staff members to do their assigned tasks without giving them harsh words. We are a Christian school.

Yes, they did it. They pulled the Jesus card!

I love it.

B14- bitchez

I am recovering nicely from Drag Queen Bingo last night. I went with two other Navy wives to the every Friday event.

Last week I saw an advertisement for Drag Bingo at The Other Side. It's on the other side of the Gay Bar, "Emerald City", which is owned by the same guy who owns Oz in the French Quarter.

Anyway.....

We had a blast. Got drunk.

From 6-8 on Friday nights they have drag bingo called by Lauren Mitchell, who was probably at one time called Larry.

I won bingo on the first card and tied with two other guys. The tie breaker was to drink a nasty shot of three different things and then drink a beer with a straw. Whoever finished first won the $20 bar tab. I lost and was completely drunk by 7p.m. While I was losing the race drinking my beer through a straw, my friend said "she doesn't know how to suck" and we were immediately best friends of the bar patrons.

We drank half price martinis and played bingo for two hours. We sat and chatted with the "Guys" for another two hours and then walked to a nearby restaurant and ate. By then, we had sobered up enough to get home.

We are going back again. Next Saturday, the 80's teen sensation "Tiffany" will be performing at midnight. Apparently she has a HUGE Gay following.

Right now I need to go and drink a lot of water, take another Advil.

Ghost Seekers of Texas

OK, I am officially a ghost seeker. I took Lucy and Ethel to the Lighthouse for a Ghost Seeker tour. It was great.

We get ready to start the tour and the head seeker, Rocky, introduces himself. I am a little freaked because all day the Petite Hurricane has been talking about her invisible friend named Rocky! She hasn't ever talked about a friend named Rocky until today.... so that was a little weird.

We get our instructions and are divided into three groups. Each group is given three separate devices. I had the Electro Voice Recorder thing. It is supposed to record voices that we can't hear. One family had a device to check the temprature in various parts of the room. The other family had a device that beeped when it sensed a spirit. It beeped a few times.

We spent an hour in the lighthouse keepers house and the lighthouse. I saw the bloodstain that never comes out of the wood. Freaky! Lucy heard some tapping in one of the upstairs bedrooms.

The basement was where I was most uncomfortable. It was very dark. We had one flashlight and all our "equipment". They said that there had been some activity in that room. I think something touched my arm. I thought it was my shirt sleeve, but then Lucy said something tickled her arm and it was cold. Yep, I suggested to our tour guide that it was time to move on up to the lighthouse.

We got to the lighthouse keepers room and it was really weird. That is the room where they have found the "spirits" of two small children. That is where our guide told us to all be very quiet and we would take turns asking the spirits questions. I had to hold the recorder in the center of the room and we asked questions.

When the Guide suggested that we make an "energy circle" and ask the spirits to move an object, I had to say no. I was freaked enough, but, Lucy and Ethel were all over the energy circle idea. They won't be able to sleep tonight, but were all about th "energy circle" to call the spirits.

They are trying to plan a trip back in October for Halloween. It was worth the money (donated to the restoration of the lighthouse) and fun to spend time with just the older girls.

I promise, I won't be on tv "swearing on a stack of Gideon Bibles" that I saw a spirit, but some of those rooms were just plain creepy. And I can't wait to go back. Wanna go with me?

I took lots of photos. Did you notice the orbs in the photo? I am going to send them to the Ghost Seekers for further investigation.

Tank Boy

They were showing photos of Chinese landmarks and one was Tiananmen Square. I can't look at that building without thinking of that famous photo.

The one where the lone Chinese Man is standing in front of four tanks. No one knows this mans name. Did he live? Was he arrested? Nothing.

Hey China!

I just watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. It was a very interesting showcase of lights, fireworks and synchronization.

In fact, it kind of reminded me of some of those old movies from Nazi Germany prior to WWII. Or those videos on You Tube of the dancing prisoners in orange jumpsuits.

Our 10 year old asked me why there were only men participating in the drum portion of the show. I tried to explain but then my husband finally said "women are considered property". No more questions from the 10 year old. At least it wasn't the "what's a lesbian" question I got from the 7 year old the other night.

The costumes were beautiful. It would have been an amazing show if I had not been thinking about the millions of Chinese people who are suffering and starving, living in mud huts not up to earthquake code.

Waffle House Wedding. Can we get extry syrrrup on that.

Who doesn't love a summer wedding.


http://gwinnettdailypost.mycapture.com/mycapture/enlarge.asp?userphoto=&imag
e=19541945&event=&CategoryID=


Bride, Groom, Their nose picking kids, Biker Shirt clad groomsmen, a few boxes of Marlboro Reds, a pregnant bridesmaid, plastic milk crates for seats, plastic champagne flutes and a Waffle House.

Thanks, Judith. You Rock!

Untame My Heart at the American Legion Hall

I have to thank Julie and Carrie for this.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE wedding announcements. The freakier the better. I have added my comments in italics.

ENJOY!


June 29, 2008

On the 12th of April 2008, Miss Jennifer Marie Cloud of Monroe, La. was married to Mr. Francois Carstens of Stellenbosch, South Africa on the grounds of Forsythe Park and the American Legion Hall in Monroe.

The bride and groom shared a secret breakfast where he gave her roses to remember the occasion of the day. All of the bridal party were chauffeured to the wedding in a long white limousine, heightening the expectation of the moment for all. The bride arrived with her father and mother, the Rev. and Mrs. Richard D. Cloud and the maid of honor, Julienne L. Cloud together, sharing their deep affection with each other as they kept the bride hidden until her unveiling before the groom.

Didn't he just give her roses at a secret breakfast?


All of the groomsmen laid hands on Francois and prayed for their best friend before his wedding and the bridesmaids came over to the limo and got in and did the same for Jennifer. What a blessed group of young people they are, no one could have asked for better lifelong friends!

OK, you can "lay on hands" as long as you provide beverages also.

The Best Man was Mr. Tertius Carstens, the groom’s brother. The Groomsmen were Mr. Gibbethon Wynne, Mr. Loujean Philander, Mr. Gunter Titus, and Mr. WP Bloem, all of South Africa. The Usher was Mr. Chris Coleman.

These are white people.

The Maid of honor was Miss Julienne Cloud, the bride’s sister. The bridesmaids were Miss Christine White, Miss Lyndsey Breard, Mrs. Traci Cline and Mrs. Leigh Wagner.

The worship team, from Kansas City’s IHOP, played for over an hour before the wedding so others could worship as God came and washed over the crowd ~ a spirit of bridal intimacy was surely present from our Bridegroom King. We invited all the heavenly hosts of heaven and of course, King Jesus Himself, for it wouldn't truly be a blessed wedding without them in attendance. I am sure all the angels in heaven took a moment in time to come and rejoice with us all at the foreshadowing of the great marriage feast to come when we will all be together again, as we celebrate as the bride of Christ and our Beloved Jesus as the Groom.

Oh...........Come Lord Jesus Come!

Oh, My. There is only so much I can say about the preceeding paragraph. I am only left to assume that Kansas City's IHOP is International House of Prayer and not Pancakes, but I could be wrong. I am almost without words for the rejoycing and foreshadowing of the bride of Christ, except to say CAN I GET AN AMEN!

The wedding tent was draped with white fabric on the ceiling blowing gently in the wind. The Rev. Michael Tharpe celebrated the marriage under a flowered gazebo with twinkle lights. The parents, Dr. and Mrs. Peter Carstens and grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Duane Cloud and Mrs. Pat Wagner, were ushered in to the song “Fragrant Offering”, sung by Michelle Tharpe.

The three flower girls, Misses Michaela Tharpe, Danna Walker, and Sarah Wagner, came dancing down the aisle to the song "Untame My Heart" ~ it was glorious. They truly worshipped the Lord with childlike innocence around the gazebo while tossing yellow flower petals with sweet abandoned beauty.

The groomsmen ushered in the bridesmaids to the theme from "Ever After" in their black tuxedos with gold vests and ties, and the royal blue bridesmaid's dresses were lovely and classy ~ simply elegant.

Abandoned Beauty, yep, that's what I think of with Toni Braxton's music. OK, Untame My Heart and the theme from "Ever After"? How old are these kids, 16? It was the theme from "Ice Castles" when I was a teenager, but that was 20 years ago.


As the music swelled and the curtains were pulled back ~ everyone stood and gazed upon the bride, in her spectacular dropped waist, ivory, satin, ‘Allure’ wedding gown, embroidered with crystals on a chiffon overlay.

What a glorious bride she was ~ such a beautiful girl ~ the bride of Christ embodied before us all ~ in purity and holiness ~ she took our breath away. And nothing is as sweet as seeing a groom who is truly in love and enraptured with his bride, weep at the sight of his betrothed, walking regally down the aisle to meet him at the altar.

Folks, Is this sounding like an Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints wedding. Bride of Christ embodied before us.

Scriptures and an excerpt from Francois' love letters were read, then the bride made her way over to the piano and sang to her beloved groom and her Beloved Jesus. It was awesome.

I guess it is safe to assume his love letters didn't say "hey baby, lets get naked and jump in the pond after prayer meeting Wednesday night".

Following this part the bride and groom tied their promise rings of purity together with a ribbon, symbolizing their union on their wedding day ~ now becoming one under Christ. I think this swept up the whole congregation as they prayed touching foreheads and thanked the Lord for His faithfulness ~ what a witness those two are to all who witnessed this blessed event!

Gibbethon, a groomsmen, sang the processional in Afrikaans ~ "Come Jesus, Come”, while the entire bridal party danced up the aisle, rejoicing and hugging, including the grandparents and parents.

Everyone at the reception had their faces painted, African style, with little white dots in intricate designs. The children were all given angel wings and I saw some of the adults wearing them too, so cute. There were fireflies twinkling, fire-pits roaring and water fountains bubbling. The whole park seemed to come alive with twinkle lights and lanterns, tropical plants, tents, a photo booth and cabanas.

I heard that Jesus and the other Brides of Christ really dig photo booths.

In the American Legion Hall, there hung golden South African lanterns swagged over a tall display of fruit and flowers in the center of the room. There was old style jazz music in the jazz tent, and delicious food under a pavilion. It was a magical reception hidden in fantasy and mystery.

The bride's cake was a five-tiered square white cake with white orchids and sugar grapes cascading down the sides. Hanging over the cake were white orchids, floating in the air. The piping on the cake was passages of love poetry taken from the 'Song of Solomon' in the Bible, written both in English and Afrikaans.

The groom’s cake was a circular three-tiered cake in delicious dark chocolate, with white piping that echoed the African face painting. Tuxedo strawberries cascaded down its sides, and the flowers by the groom's cake were pincushion pro-teas, flowers native to the cape in South Africa.

The bride and groom drove away in a sapphire blue convertible after exiting through a double row of sparklers to cheers and hugs from all.

It was a glorious wedding ~ a night to remember ~ and a match made in heaven, as Jennifer and Francois entered in to married life together, under the stars, with all the people they love.

Democrat Phone Calls

I thought we were on a do not call list or is that only for people selling things?

The Democratic Party just popped up on my caller I.D.

I let the 3 year old answer the phone. I told her it was my mother, her Gram.

She talked and talked about the pool and the beach. She finally brought the phone back to me and said "they said bye".

My own Call Blocker.