Renaissance Faire. Renaissance Fair.

Oh my. It was an adventure. I just have to say that if you are a belly dancer and are pregnant, add a few veils. I also have to say that if you are tatted from neck to navel.... you may scare the smaller children. I don't care how great you can gyrate your hips. If you have a kneeling 40's pinup on your shoulder and a six inch butterfly and large ivy on your lower back, kids will freak. Seriously, this chick had no less than 25 tattoos... and she was weaing a long skirt. I couldn't see anything from her lower hips to her ankles. She could have had an Iguana covering her entire left leg.

When I read the flier about the fair I was hooked. It said "Pirates, Jousting, Fire Breathers, Falconry, bellydancing and much, much more". Sounded more like a fantastic Gay Bar than a Renaissance Fair... and I was going to go.

The fire breathers and the sword swallowers were freaky, but I was intrigued. I wanted to ask how long you had to practice. How many years? This can't be your only job. The lady, Tarot, swallowed a 23 inch sword... which promptly received comments from the men. One reveler yelled "Yeah, now that's a Lady". Yep, it was an interesting day. One camel ride, two face paintings and a jousting exhibition later we were still looking for the falcons.

I couldn't help but laugh at the guy selling Pirate Pickles. Insert dirty joke here.

This was my first Renaissance Fair, but it won't be my last. It was not at all like the Renaissance Day we participated in during my Senior Year in High School. It was soooo much better. I found a Friar, a Squire and someone who could have been the Wife of Bath. Mrs. Parker-Schaffer-Martin would be proud that I remembered those characters... that nutty freak of a teacher.

The Jousting was fantastic. Real armour. Huge horses. Wooden jousting poles that broke and flew into the air. One landed about 5 feet from us, prompting my 11 year old to say "MAMA, THIS IS VIOLENT". God love her.

So yes, we will back next year. Hopefully the belly dancer will have given birth. The girls are already planning their wardrobe for next year. Maybe I will go as the Wife of Bath.... or a Nun.