FAITH!!!

George Michael this summer. July 13th. Dallas.

I've got to go-go!

Anybody want to go with me!

Rockin' the Orange Jumpsuit

Have you see the video of Filipino Prisoners dancing; 1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines. I don't mean gay prison dancing. I mean choreographed dances. I guess if you were in a Filipino prison and they said dance or die, you would dance.

They have even separated the dances into groups and the better dancers are "featured" in the center.

I don't know if my favorite is Soulja Boy/Hammer, Thriller, Gloria or Sister Act.

BUT, I'm lovin' the tranny from Thriller and the Cross Dressing Nun.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Filipino Solid Gold Dancers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYp2Aloz-uE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5nZcFIf3qc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPg9GWBoL0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-FhczpCZ84

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCUbUOZbs6g

Paint

OK, the next time I decide to paint rooms in my house, someone beat me with a stick. I had painters come and paint the walls in the living room, dining room, foyer and kitchen. All the same color. It looks great. I decided I could paint the hallway. It has 6 doors to paint around. I hate painting. NOW that I have painted the hallway, the bathrooms need work. SO.....

I have removed the border from the hall bathroom and I am waiting for a new shower curtain. Black and white toile shower curtain. Since the other rooms look great, I now have to paint the bedroom of Petite Picasso. Soothing Celadon is what I am leaning toward. SO.....

I am off to Home Depot again. More blue tape, roller with an extension stick. Where is the drive through drink store!

It's Official.

I am 38 years old and officially a resident of the State of Florida. It's a sad day.

I love Louisiana. I love the pine hills of North Louisiana. I love the marshes in the Southern part of the state. I love the wide rolling rivers. I love to laugh at the freakshows put on by incompetent politicians. And I cried when I watched New Orleans under water.

We kept our residency status long enough to help elect a new governor. Now it's up to you, you crazy muther truckers. Citizens of the State of Louisiana. We will be back. So until then, keep the politicians in check. Demand that roads, schools and public services improve.

Demand accountability.

Demand Responsibility.

Attention all Politicians, Prostitutes and Prophets

Stop F@*#ing Around! PLEASE! We are sick of your "prostitute press conferences". Please no more "extramarital affairs Q&A". How about no more T & A? Or, maybe control the PDA?

To the present and future Mayors, Governors, Senators and Representatives, I have some very important information for you. THIS WILL NEVER TURN OUT POSITIVE. It always looks bad and you will always look like an idiot.

Pretty Woman is a movie. NO prostitute EVER looks like that and I feel save to assume that you are no Richard Gere.

Wake up! It's a digital, wireless world. EVERYONE has a cameraphone. Mother's turn in their offspring for $500 to crimestoppers. A hotel clerk will sell you out for MUCH less.

How about thinking of how your children will handle this information. Do you really think that no one will say anything to them at school.

Wise up Fools. Your 15 minutes are almost up... tick, tick, tick....

Another reason why NOT to have a threesome.

Maybe because when your husband is Governor of New Jersey, exposed in a Gay sex scandal and forced to retire, it may come back to bite you in the ass (no pun intended) during the divorce and custody proceedings.

Toilet Trauma

I thought toilet trauma was when my niece won't sit because the water is blue. Or when my little one won't sit on the little potty becase it's to pretty and pink to put poop in it.

Now we have all learned that toilet trauma is when you sit on the toilet for 2 years and it has to be surgically removed from your ass.

I know you all read this story, or saw it on the news. I don't understand people. Maybe that's why I am not a psychiatrist. It's like those people you would see on those ER shows who show up and say they have pain in their foot and when the doctor looks at it, the whole thing is black and rotten. Damn, people. I get nervous when I smash my finger and the nail bed bruises. How on earth do you look at your entire foot, turning black and not say, "hey, that just does not look right".

Kind of like the couple in the trailer. Who lets their girlfriend sit on a toilet for two years? I don't even want to know more about this. It's too sad and scary.