Bikes and Beer

I saw a old guy riding his bike down Gulf Beach Highway with a case of beer strapped to the back.

I wonder if riding your bike to get beer cancels out the calories from the beer when you drink it?

Or he was just homeless with a bike.

Where da gold at?

Apparently there is a Leprechaun in Alabama.
Watch this You Tube video and then check out the website.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vi35H9H4Og

www.wheredagoldat.com

Leprechauns are easy. Those Mobileians better stay on that side of the bay.

I have heard that here in West P'cola, Perdido and Lower Alabama we have had some sightings too. There is a team of researchers looking for a Bigfoot/Sasquatch in the Lower Alabama woods. Dead Cattle with their neck broken is the first sign. I don't think that Leroy's Magic Flute will scare him.

Someone has seen Polyphemus, the one eyed Cyclops from the Odyssey, sleeping on the barrier island. They threw some buoys at him and he ran away.

A Krackken has been spotted off the coast by a boat load of Cubans.

The Loch Ness Monster was spotted trying to tip a Dolphin sight seeing ship. The tourists threw some Twizzlers overboard and he disappeared.

A group of Nasty Mermaids were spotted near the Flora-Bama. They were looking for some weed. A bunch of Mississippi Rednecks waded out to hit on them, but the mermaids swam out to sea.

So, those Leprecrackheads need to stay in Mobile. They don't want any part of the water monsters here.

Women's Underwear

I was listening to Fox News on XM Radio one evening in the car and heard where some Wal Mart corporate employees were in trouble.

They called it Corporate Shenanigans. I love those words put together. Just makes you think that something truly stupid is about to happen.

It did.

Wal Mart contracted a video company to video their corporate retreats. For years this was handled with a handshake deal from Old Man Sam Walton. Well, when the video company was not re-hired they sold all their video from the events. Handshake deal = no confidentiality agreement.

One of the videos had corporate executives dancing around in lingerie singing the old Christmas song "Winter Wonderland". BUT, they changed the words to Walking 'round in women's underwear.

I guess the legal minds at Wal Mart and now working on contracts for all former employees and video companies!

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me.....

With all the television coverage of the Pope's visit, I couldn't help but see the Pope's car.

I call it the Popecedees Benz. I wonder if it has a "GOD IS MY CO-PILOT" bumper sticker and a plastic Jesus on the dashboard?

God Bless Louisiana

THANGS I LARNED WILE LIVIN IN LUSIANA
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in LOUISIANA.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in LOUISIANA plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Once d and twiced are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. Fixinto is one word
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
3. You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store '
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
8. You only own five spices: Tony's (Chachere?), salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm'.
12. You know all four seasons: Deer Season, Duck Season, Crawfish Season, Summer.
13. You know whether another LOUISIANIAN is from, north or south as soon as they start talking (speaking).
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as ?goin' Wal-martin?or ?off to Wally World?
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

Not EVERYONE can be a LOUISIANIAN, it's an art form and a gift from God

Wanted - Gay Boyfriend

Thirtysomething married white female; mother of three girls, wife of a General Surgeon looking for a gay boyfriend.

Companion needed to share long walks through World Bazzar, Furniture stores and outdoor garden centers.

Must accompany me to Gulf Coast Casinos Shows and other concerts such as Elton John, George Michael, Pat Benatar, Liza Minelli, Kathy Griffin and the traveling production of Cats. Future trips to NYC in the works. Some Travel Expenses paid.

Experience with draperies, color coordinating rugs and flower design a must. Craft experience also a plus, but not necessary.

Theater experience welcomed. Three Darling Daughters need proper coaching on stage and singing techniques.

Cross Dressers and Fierce Trannys always welcome.

Need to get the Tax Monkey off yo back?

In the event you are in the 318 area code, check out this tax service.

They get yo money quick... just like dat!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MorxiSQpXCg