Miss America Please Don't Sing

I love pageants. I love Miss America and I love Miss USA. I even love the new format, but I am angry, hurt and disappointed.

Why oh why did they have to eliminate the baton twirler right before she performed. She had on her sparkly leotard and three batons. THREE! I was devastated. Give me twirlers or give me death!

Oh, there was talent, good talent, but dancers en pointe and singers are a dime a dozen. Twirlers! That's what I wanted to see.

The winner sang, or tried to sing "Over the Rainbow". She looked great in a swimsuit and answered the questions like a pageant pro, but if you are going to be Miss America, you should be able to hit the high note.

I liked that the girls felt like they could step out of the pageant box. They seemed more relaxed and more real.

The pageant even had their version of Pop Up Video. During the talent portion a word bubble would appear and give a little info about the contestant. I was MOST impressed that one of the girls had a dress made by Kayne from Project Runway!

The question and answer part took "people off the street" and had them tape a question to ask to the contestants. They asked relevant questions about the world and America today. No World Peace or starving kids in Africa. But can we all please leave Lindsay alone. I think that they mentioned Lindsay Lohan's name at least 6 or 7 times, and it was not in a positive aspect. Yes, we all know that she's a terrible role model, but can you find another drunken, high celebrity to condemn?

The Pageant even had a reality show where they tried to make over the contestants. They tried to get them to update their look. Reinvent the modern Miss America contestant.

The girls that were the most receptive were the Midwest and west coast girls. I loved it that the Southern girls would not give up their pageant hair and makeup.

I liked the updated version, but I also like my Miss Louisiana to have big pageant hair and lots of hairspray.

Baton Twirlers and Big Hair. Now that's entertainment!

I Love LA

I was reading NOLA.com and found another reason why I love Louisiana so much. Mardi Gras Float Themes!

The 2008 Krewe du Vieux theme - Magical Misery Tour

subkrewe themes were:

RUE DU BOURBON: All You Need is Cash

COMATOSE: Comatose Goes Under The Gun

KREWE DE CRAPS: CRAPS Mutinies - Where's That Booty

C.R.U.D.E.: When Life Gives You Shit...Grow Mushrooms

DRIPS AND DISCHARGES: "Sgt. Eddie's Only Honkies Banned"

INANE: Mystic Krewe of Inane Extends Its Tour of Booty

K.A.O.S.: You Never Give Me Your Money

KREWE OF SPACE AGE LOVE: "PAY DE BOYS ON DE WATERFRONT"

L.E.W.D: David Vitter's Lonely Whore's Club

MAMA ROUX: We All Live in a Jello Shot Machine

KREWE DU MISHIGAS: wards off the evil eye.

MONDU: Mondu Raises Hell-ter Skelter

MYSTIC KREWE OF PAN: PAN Drinks the Lafcadio Kool-Aid

SEEDS OF DECLINE: Fools on the Hill

MYSTIC KREWE OF SPERMES: Spermes: The White Album

T.O.K.I.N.: TOKIN Gets Wasted

UNDERWEAR: Can Buy Me Love

Praise the Lord

UPDATE - Breaking News

Apparently the angry neighbors of Poopie Lady have agreed to return the much loved Jesus statue. They feel that their point has been made, and didn't think it would make the national news.

But really people, did you think that Jesus would be lost for long. He would find his way home eventually.

God IS his co-pilot.

What Would Jesus Do

I saw on the news where a lady had her 30 pound Jesus statue stolen from her front yard. She got a call to look in the mailbox. There she found a ransom note.

"The note reads: “We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”

Apparently this lady has three or four dogs and has been cited before for not picking up after her dog. She was just shocked that anyone would steal Our Lord and Savior.

Perhaps she should be asking herself, what would Jesus do?

Hollywood Diet

I was in the Wal Mart book section looking for anything to read. I immediately by-passed the Inspirational section. I want a diversion, not inspiration. One title caught my attention. Hollywood Diets of the Stars. Who are these people trying to fool. Good nutrition and exercise? Really? How about Crack and Anorexia? I ended up with a People Magazine with Britney on the cover.

Don't Mess With Mom

I read this on CNN.

'Meanest mom on planet' sells son's car


DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) -- Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the "meanest mom on the planet."

After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone -- by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

Suspicious Man Barbie

I walked into the living room and found this suspicious Man Barbie lurking in a corner next to a bookcase.

You have to wonder if this trench coat clad Man Barbie has registered with the local authorities as a sex offender.

And why is he not in the Barbie Corvette with Swimming Barbie and Mermadia Barbie and Hannah Montana? Or why is he not on the lime green plastic couch with Dr. McDreamy Enchanted Man Barbie and Brown Hair Barbie watching Barbie's new flat screen tv?

Maybe he was thrown out of the Barbie Disco/Pool/ Jet Plane party? I don't think Veterinarian Barbie and Barbie with one leg liked his sexist jokes.

Maybe he's not taking his meds, like Britney?

Apparently I am going to have to make a call to Mattel and ask them to make extra Man Barbie clothes. Daughter number 2 informed me that "Man Barbie just isn't supposed to wear a dress". I guess we haven't taken her to the French Quarter enough.

Bobby Trendy is my Homeboy/girl.

I have loved Bobby Trendy since the moment he entered my television screen on the Anna Nicole Show. Who doesn't love a man who wears lip gloss and a tiara.

It has been reported that Bobby Trendy showed up at Britney's Custody Standoff for a candlelight "visual" holding a photo of Anna Nicole and Britney... and he looked fierce!

Britney, Britney, Britney

I got up this morning and saw where there was a 4 hour standoff with Britney and KFed's bodyguard. Looks like Britney has finally lost it. MAYBE they can commit her for three days and get her some help.

Swing set from Hell

Home Depot delivered our swing set yesterday. It took a flatbed truck and a forklift to put the pieces and lumber in the backyard. Since my mossy oak clad husband is at the duck camp until Sunday, that lump of lumber and plastic will sit in my backyard until next week. Good luck keeping the kids from climbing all over it. Can't wait to see how long it takes for him to put it together!

Holy Land arts and crafts

I received one of those 20 questions, Christmas edition, emails and one of the questions was, Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, I do and it's a funny story.

I have one from the Holy Land. Our Episocpal Church in Louisiana sponsored a craftsman from Bethlehem to come to the United States and sell his woodcarvings. The violence was bad that year and he made most of his money for the year during this time. I saw two really pretty olive wood nativity scenes and when I turned the star on one it played Silent Night. When I got home I wrapped one up for my grandmother and kept the other one. A few days later when I turned the star on mine, it played the theme from the 1970's movie The Bad News Bears. I still laugh when I turn the star.

I need a pedicure!